The thing that makes me feel terrible (and how I'm going to overcome it)
I think I can safely say that everyone has been touched by this at one point or another. Maybe on a weekly or daily basis. And the problem has just gotten worse with the rise of social media.
As Theodore Roosevelt said,”Comparison it is the thief of joy.” And this couldn’t be more true. I’ve been in the clutches of the comparison monster lately and it is time to come clean. I wanted to share it with you in the efforts that when I reveal it to you, I can stop it in its tracks. In my case, my comparison monster has grown bigger because of social media. Who is doing this and that? Who has more followers and WHY do they have so many followers all of a sudden? They look so good in their yoga pants, I probably shouldn’t post my yoga pictures? Enough. I’ve had enough.
Don't compare your beginning to someone else's middle.
I don’t want to leave social media entirely. It’s not possible because of what I am trying to do and accomplish. I want to reach as many people as I can with my message of healthy and natural living, especially for women in their 40s, but I need to put some boundaries on my social media use. So here is how I plan to slay my comparison monster:
Limit my time on social media
This is an obvious one. But I am going to put some boundaries on how much time I am on social media. I do want to grow my following , so I will be using my time to engage with people who lift my vibration, not lower it.
Mute and unfollow the people that don’t serve me
There are a few people that I follow that bring me down, not up. I’m just not going to follow those people anymore - end of story. For some of them, I will just mute their accounts, so I don’t see their posts. We all have the choice to unfollow someone who doesn’t add to our life.
I’ll be me and you be you.
To quote Taylor Swift, “I promise that you'll never find another like me.” What a timely release of your song “Me”, Taylor! Here’s the thing that is so important when it comes to comparison. You are you. No one is like you. You can get inspiration from others, but you shouldn't be copying others. You have unique gifts that you should be bringing to the world. See that light. Feel that light. And then let it shine outwards into the world.
Connect beyond the platforms
I know we compare ourselves to others offline as well as online. But I feel like when you know the person behind the perfect pictures, you see more of who they are, their personal challenges and struggles. You get to know that they are human too. I’m going to be making a point of connecting with others in person (or at least by voice) and not through a screen.
Be authentic because you are authentic
I’m going to start sharing more of my struggles on social media. I’ve done a LOT of work on self-development. But I’m far from perfect. I still have really bad days. I suffer from anxiety, the not-enoughs and even though I have learned to accept my beautiful 40 year old body, I have some not good days on that front too. If I’m going to be on social media, I might as well show you where I’m at. Today I feel strength. And that’s where I am.
Your journey will not move at the same speed as someone else
I need to remind myself of this daily. What you see on social media is such a false gauge of someone’s journey. First off, you don’t see the behind the scenes of all the shit they needed to go through to get to where they are. Secondly, you are most certainly on a different journey. How do I know that? Because you are you, and your journey is unique. How boring would like be if we were all on the same journey. SO BORING! Enjoy your journey and recognize that the only person you should be competing with, is yourself.
So the next time you are in that exercise class - celebrate that other person that looks fabulous and can push hard. When you see someone on social media that makes you compare yourself, honour that person for where they are on their journey. And honour yourself for where you are on yours.
Do you fall into the trap of comparing yourself to others? If so, do you feel like social media has contributed to that? Comment below.